5 Tips for Progressive Online Dating
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A simple web search with phrases like “dating websites” or “online dating” will yield MILLIONS of results. That speaks volumes to our modern world and how much people rely on technology to date and relate to others.
To some, meeting people online is still very taboo, especially when it comes to romantic love. There’s an element of disbelief that mates discovered online can be “real” or “validated” because of the fact that the people met without ever having seen each other face to face.
I’ve had my own experiences with online dating, not all meetings went or ended well; but each encounter served a greater life lesson for me, just as they would have if I had met the personalities on the street, or in a designated place. I know that to be the case with others as well, so my question is:
What makes meeting online so different? I personally don’t think there is a difference, so, how can we apply the tenants of progressive love to pursuits in on-line dating?
No Shame, No Blame
Open relating is primarily about openness and honesty, so when creating a profile for a dating site and connecting with potential dates, be completely open and honest. Post the most accurate and to date information about yourself and recent (and REAL) pictures of yourself. Don’t be ashamed of who you are and what you look like. There is someone out there for everyone, sometimes more than one person, and they want the authentic YOU! If you do find that someone has been dishonest in anyway, don’t go into blame mode. Progressive Love asks that you be forgiving and understanding – support them in totally accepting their authentic self! This will be a learning opportunity to understand why you attracted this scenario into your life.
No Victims, No Villains
We hear countless stories of people being “scammed” online, but being duped takes two! If you feel that the person you’ve been getting to know has been dishonest, don’t go into victim mode to try to convince everyone that you got played. Often times intuition, small clues, or even blatant evidence, tell us that something is amiss, but we over look it because we want to believe in what we feel. Don’t be so quick to label the person a villain when you share equal responsibility in the situation. Take ownership over your choice to have this experience. Maybe this is something that will support YOU in the long run!
No Cop Outs, No Drop Outs
When we form even the slightest bond with someone online it becomes very real for either one or both parties. That being said, it’s not cool to drop off the face of the Earth just because things aren’t going so well or if you’re having second thoughts about meeting in person. Not logging on or responding to emails etc is like your partner going out and not coming back or calling – SCARY! Not to mention painful and nerve racking. If you’re having issues with your online love, be open, be honest. If you need a break, tell them that. But please, pretty please, don’t disappear, and don’t beat around the bush and drag them along.
The Purpose is Growth
When you meet a person online, especially if they live a distance away, you both are afforded a very unique opportunity. Assuming that both parties are practicing open/honest relating, when you’re thousands of miles away from someone and all you have to do is talk, this gives amazing opportunity for growth that you may not have gotten if you’d met another way. If you really feel comfortable with each other, be free to open up! So much growing together can be done even through chats and phone conversations. We see this all the time with common interest and support groups, so the same can be said for developing romantic relationships! Realize that even this interaction with someone through the waves of technology has the potential to grow you!
The Benefit is Love
This one is a no-brainer! But to expound a bit upon my introduction, I must say that you should never let anyone try to invalidate the relationship that you have with someone online. If it’s real for the two of you, then it’s REAL! Whether you talk for a few weeks or years, or if you meet right away or hold off until you’re ready – you have met each other for a divine reason and that reason is to love and to be loved. It doesn’t matter if you first crossed paths in cyber space.